I'm currently walking the cutting edge of my faith and trust in the Lord with my business. I've not done it perfectly. Having been overwhelmed by my 'lot' about two weeks ago, I 'spat the dummy' and had 10 days wallowing in self pity. The snot-face crying kind of thing. She wasn't a pretty sight, the temptation was strong to throw in the towel altogether and walk away from my business, but it dawned on me that I'd just come too far to turn away, or go back to doing things my own way. It seemed 'doing things my way' wasn't really getting me anywhere. Therefore, 'forward' seemed the only, and best, option. So, with my heart a little more humble and willing to do things His way I offered Him back my battered little heart and mind.
He, loving me so much, came and got me. While wiping away my tears He showed me I, like His Peter, had let go of His hand and was overwhelmed by the stormy waves. Reassured I also learned in the days ahead that He'd used this wallowing-self pitting space as a way to skim off the dross of some of my thinking and self reliance and I found myself open to new things and in particular His ways.
Further days have since past and I'm completely in a different space, yet still walking that cutting edge. But now I believe Him for His Providence.
He offered comfort through His Word, particularly - Genesis 22, where Abraham was taking His only son Issac to sacrifice to the Lord. The Holy Spirit made a couple of things clear that are personal to me.
Abraham was in the PROCESS of obeying God's instructions to offer up His son.
He believed God would provide the solution (despite the circumstances).
But he still had to walk it out. In fact, he was walking 3 days in faith before he had to put his boy on the block (so to speak), all the while being obedient, AND, trusting God had a lamb to sacrifice over that of his son, but He'd be willing if it cane to that. (What's my issue (!) compared to offering my Sofia up to death!?)
I saw myself in Isaac when he said 'Father, we have wood and fire but no lamb'. I ecoed the same question to God with my 21st century spin on it.... I have X and Y, so where is Z?
After all of this, they both were obedient as Isaac wasn't a little boy, but a young man (in peek physical strength). He submitted to his ELDERLY father despite what it looked like. They both did.
Through this chapter the Lord showed me where I was in this picture as I saw myself as the son and the father. He pointed out that I was in the 3 days traveling to the mountain. Yet now, by His grace I'm complete in my trust in Him. He is my provider and instead of feeling anxious I have a calm assurance all will be well, despite what I see.
I'm still walking that cutting edge of faith and trust. But I'm now excited and expectant of the Lord and what and how He plans to give me the solution to all I seek Him for.
And there is a reason I don't mention what that is, as in the retelling (once the solution is tangible), the Glory with be His to own as I'm learning to be reliant on His provisions and not my own. Today's already provided for!
Some days are really rough when you work for yourself, even with Christ at the lead. It seems to be taking time to unlearn old ways and when in the valley of those 10 days it feels like a lifetime. I'm thankful that this passes and if you're in that snot-face crying place now - take hold of the promise below... as this too shall pass. Promise.
I was inspired by a couple of verses in my personal time with Him and He inspired me to create a greeting card and print from it as it'll encourage someone else. Here is one of the cards. The idea is that you're to read it in the first person so the Word is personal to you.
The 'Every Promise' Cards and Prints are available for sale in my shop.